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Jess [userpic]

(no subject)

November 10th, 2009 (10:26 am)

current mood: bitchy
current song: Muse - Take a Bow

I'm so sick of being here. Every day I'm here I get a nauseated feeling in the pit of my stomach. Nothing makes me happy here anymore aside from friends, the few I choose to keep. And they're all sick of being here too. I've had drifter friends that told me it was easy for them to just get up and go, and I didn't believe them because I was too afraid. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses, and maybe I am, but I have the type of father that treats me like I'm constantly 13 and I have the mother that's dependent on me being around and thus in turn made me dependent on her. I've never really done anything on my own. All of my friends that live on their own I'm kind of jealous of because they were pretty much forced to make their own decisions based on their family life. I love my parents and I wouldn't want to feel ignored by them, but I've been sheltered and babied my whole life. I've managed to traumatize myself with fear of ever being successful in a career and living on my own, and all the responsibilities of a real life. I don't know what I'd expect to do otherwise though....I've finally come to a point, a point where I've heard enough encouraging advice, and put up with enough -- MORE than enough shit from being in Hagerstown, and I'm tired of the way my parents are acting. I'm tired of being pathetic....I'm tired of feeling tied down to everything without having any free will of my own.

My parents were talking about moving back to Florida and living in St. Augustine. But for them, talking and doing are waaaaaaaay too different of things. I don't even know or really care where I end up. I used to have places I decided I would just never want to live or be, but I'm so sick of here that I could care less. So, I've made a plan that I've already enacted. I've been saving money since I worked at the Disney Store, and it may not be a lot but I feel it's enough to at least get started SOMEwhere. I'm going to work my new job at Books-A-Million through Christmas so I don't have this new job and then ditch it. Besides extra money is extra money. I've already been getting rid of shit I would never normally get rid of just so I have less shit to take with me. I'm donating a lot of stuffed animals and toys to Toys for Tots this year so they're going to a worthy cause, and I'm packing all my shit together and applying to video game companies all over the country and Canada. Whoever wants to hire me, that is where I will move. Right now, since I don't have a degree and experience (and don't really want to) making video games, I figured I could just do an entry level position, maybe be a tester or a secretary....something like that. I figure I have enough passion and personality for that career type that I'll figure out my niche somewhere. Right now the places I've seen are mosty in LA (somewhere I thought I would NEVER want to be), Cambridge, MA, Montreal, and even Surrey England, but I think I'll put that one on the backburner. I'm not too worried about it, and if shit does just not work out, then I can move back in with my parents and try again later. Consider this sort of a New Year's Resolution.

Jess [userpic]


August 22nd, 2009 (01:31 pm)

current mood: artistic
current song: Modest Mouse - The Whale Song

Jess [userpic]

District 9

August 16th, 2009 (11:17 pm)

current mood: amused

It was amazing. It wasn't entirely what I was expecting. I was so astonished and awed by how wonderful it was. It's very smart and not at all tacky and hoakey. I think everyone I know would like it. Then again, I only know COOL people. :) You can tell that they got a lot of inspiration from The Fly, and Black Hawk Down. It's kind of like that with a political message like Children of Men which it's also like in action. VERY cool. VERY gory.

Jess [userpic]


June 24th, 2009 (11:49 am)

current mood: contemplative

Happy St. Jean Baptiste Day!!

Jess [userpic]

Curiouser and Curiouser

June 24th, 2009 (11:48 am)

current mood: curious


Jess [userpic]


June 24th, 2009 (11:46 am)

current mood: complacent
current song: Duran Duran - Come Undone

I get to see The Doobie Brothers on Thursday with my parents. It was originally just supposed to be my dad and me, but my mother asked if she could come and reluctantly we said yes. I wonder how late to the concert we will end up being...

July is going to be fun if I get a chance to DO anything. Aside from Public Enemies coming out I'm probably going to tag along for the new Harry Potter with my store. Concert-wise, STP is going to be playing at the Merriweather Pavillion, and Depeche Mode is playing too. I can't say which I would enjoy seeing more as I don't know how either puts on a show.

Most excitedly I found out that KMFDM is going to be back in DC in September, and that made me very happy. I love seeing them. It'll be the third time, and it's going to be so wonderful. So even if I miss STP and Depeche Mode then I know I'll be going to KMFDM.

Jess [userpic]

If you're going to spend $90 on a Blu-Ray

May 1st, 2009 (02:57 pm)

current mood: bouncy

It better be something COMPLETELY worth your while. As for me, I FINALLY got my Advent Children Complete in with a trial version of Final Fantasy 13. As soon as I started playing it, I started crying. Seriously. Haha. Imported it from Japan, and I'm sick with joy....the ONE day I have ever not wanted to go to work, haha. Damn it.

Jess [userpic]

Freaking awesome...

April 21st, 2009 (10:16 pm)

current mood: crazy

Jess [userpic]

Attack of the Giant Rabbit!

April 12th, 2009 (11:15 am)

current mood: creative



For whichever you choose, rabbits or jesus, or both! I hope you all have a happy easter/ghost jesus day/rabbits with creepy candy eggs day

Jess [userpic]

(no subject)

April 8th, 2009 (09:22 am)

current mood: cheerful
current song: Godspeed You Black Emperor - East Hastings

I think I am a sun-charged person...I can go to sleep at any hour and wake up with the sun out and it's like I slept for 10 hours even if it was only four. Then on the contrary I could sleep for 10 hours and wake up with it rainy/cloudy outside I am zombie all day...I guess it's a good thing I'm not a vampire.

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